💔 Understanding Low Libido in Marriage: When Your Wife Says No
⚠️ Disclaimer: This information is for educational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment.
The Problem: Low Frequency of Sex in a Young Marriage
A 33-year-old male patient, married for three years, expressed concern because his wife is only agreeing to sex once or twice a month. He noted that her general health is okay, but her consistent reason is, “I don’t feel like doing sex.”
This situation, where one partner experiences a significantly lower sexual desire than the other, is a very common issue in marriages and is medically referred to as Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder (HSDD).
🔎 Expert Insights: What Could Be Causing Low Desire?
The consulting doctors emphasized that low libido is complex and almost always requires professional evaluation. They pointed to several potential causes beyond simple physical health:
1. Psychological and Relationship Factors
Dr. Amit Harshana (Sexologist) suggested that the cause is “Mostly psychological.” Dr. Jyoti Arora Monga (Ayurveda) noted that while every person has their own sexual desires, many underlying causes need to be evaluated.
In a clinical setting, psychological causes often include:
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Stress and Fatigue: Modern life, career pressure, or childcare responsibilities.
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Relationship Quality: Unresolved conflicts, lack of emotional connection, or communication issues outside of the bedroom.
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Past Experience: Negative or painful experiences during sex, or fear of performance/intimacy.
2. Potential Medical and Physical Factors
Dr. Vishal Bhatt (Psychiatrist) suggested that the issue could be HSDD and noted that medication and injections are available to increase her libido (sexual drive). This points toward a biological or physiological component that can be managed.
Dr. Amit Harshana also mentioned a physical component: “may be having some contractions related to vaginal muscles.” This could be a reference to issues like vaginismus or other physical discomfort that creates an unconscious fear and withdrawal from intimacy, even if she feels she has “no problem.”
3. Hormonal and General Health
While the patient noted his wife’s health was “ok,” Dr. Monga’s comment about “lot of causes of low sexual drive which need to be evaluated” suggests that even subtle hormonal shifts (which the patient may not recognize as a “problem”) could be at play. Issues with thyroid, adrenal glands, or even certain medications can impact desire.
💡 The Doctors’ Consensus: Seek Professional Help
The overwhelming consensus from all consulting experts (Dr. Monga, Dr. Supriya, Dr. Harshana, Dr. Bhatt, and Dr. Prakash L) is the need for a direct professional consultation.
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Diagnosis is Key: Without a consultation, the underlying cause—be it stress, a mild hormonal imbalance, a psychological block, or a subtle physical discomfort—cannot be determined.
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Treatment Options Exist: Whether the treatment involves:
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Therapy/Counseling (for psychological or relationship issues).
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Specific Medication (for HSDD or hormonal imbalance, as mentioned by Dr. Bhatt).
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Physical Therapy (for muscular issues mentioned by Dr. Harshana).
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The most effective next step for the couple is to get in touch with a specialist (Sexologist, Psychiatrist, or Gynecologist) who can discuss the symptoms and history in detail.
❓ People May Ask (FAQ)
| Question | Answer |
| 1. What is the medical term for low sexual desire in women? | The medical term often used for persistent low sexual desire is Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder (HSDD). |
| 2. Is it normal to have sex only once or twice a month in marriage? | While there is no “normal” frequency, a significant drop in activity or a severe difference in desire between partners (like once or twice a month) often indicates an underlying issue that needs discussion or professional evaluation. |
| 3. Can psychological issues really cause low libido? | Yes, psychological factors like chronic stress, fatigue, relationship conflict, unresolved emotional issues, and performance anxiety are some of the most common causes of low libido. |
| 4. What kind of specialist should we see for low libido? | It is best to consult with a specialist such as a Sexologist, a Psychiatrist (especially one specializing in sexual health), or a Gynecologist to rule out hormonal or physical causes. |
| 5. What physical health issues can affect a woman’s sex drive? | Physical issues can range from hormonal imbalances (like thyroid issues or estrogen/testosterone levels), certain medications, and physical discomfort during sex (like contractions or pain). |
| 6. Is there medication available to increase a woman’s low libido? | Yes, doctors noted that specific medication and treatments are available for clinically diagnosed HSDD and other issues causing low sexual drive, but these require a professional prescription and diagnosis. |
